KO'd

One would imagine that after 15 hours on a cramped, sauna, fairground ride of a bus journey there is nothing better than to check in to a guest house and collapse onto the bed. Ill advised. Approximately one in ten beds in South East Asia has a special mattress designed by someone who’s forte is definitely not intelligence. To the untrained eye it looks like a normal mattress- pink and blue with a floral pattern, but inside something sinister lurks.

I still don’t know what exactly it is inside these mattresses, but it has the consistency of concrete and collapsing onto it would undoubtedly lead to severe bruising and probable unconsciousness.